Published by Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers on March 9, 2021
Genres: Contemporary, Young Adult
Pages: 368
Format: Hardcover
Source: Publisher
I received this book for free from the Publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
There were so many ways to lose someone, and the deeper you went with them, the more there were.
All Beth wants is for her tight-knit circle of friends — Grace Nakamura, Brandon Lin, Sunny Chen, and Jason Tsou — to stay together. With her family splintered and her future a question mark, these friends are all she has — even if she sometimes wonders if she truly fits in with them. Besides, she’s certain she’ll never be able to tell Jason how she really feels about him, so friendship will have to be enough.
Then Beth witnesses a private act of violence in Jason’s home, and the whole group is shaken. Beth and her friends make a pact to do whatever it takes to protect Jason, no matter the sacrifice. But when even their fierce loyalty isn’t enough to stop Jason from making a life-altering choice, Beth must decide how far she’s willing to go for him—and how much of herself she’s willing to give up.
My Thoughts
This is a difficult book for me to review. I love it. But, because of my personal experiences, I struggled with it. I almost refrained from posting a review because I didn’t know what to say.
I love this book. I love that it features a group of close-knit Asian friends, each distinct, coming from their own backgrounds, experiences, and interests. I love how this book portrays their human-ness, their desire to help Jason, and each other, and confusion over the right thing to do with their current means. I love how this book shows their growth, how they come to settle into the right place and time by novel’s end. I love that Beth plays the violin and that her world is attuned to sounds. The writing is beautiful and poetic. If I marked books, my copy would be filled with annotations.
There was so much the five of us had lived through together, so much we’d seen each other through. But in the whole long span of our history together, this was the most important thing my friends had done for me: erased that silence in my life. In the music and outside it, too, we could take all our discordant parts and raise them into a greater whole so that, together, and only together, we were transcendent.
I always believed that, in the end, would save us.
But many of Beth’s experiences hit too close to home for me. And since Beth is the narrator of the book, we get a deep-dive into her fears and insecurities. While her experiences don’t directly parallel my experiences, teenage-me could relate to Beth’s anxieties. So, this book was triggering for me, in ways. I’ve read reviews where people had to take breaks with this book. I had the opposite reaction: I couldn’t stop reading until I knew that Beth would be okay.
Everything you do, and everything you don’t do, is all woven into the narrative of your life; each choice you make sets the future in motion, even (and perhaps especially) if you don’t feel it at the time. Each action or inaction is a thread pulled into the greater whole.
When We Were Infinite is a powerful book. It’s an important book. Gilbert writes Asian-American characters. It’s subtle and implicit in the way they think and do life. And it’s explicit in some of the struggles Asian teens go through: microaggressions (like botched names and teachers not caring enough to get it right, or certain assumptions that people make, or a lack of trust in authority figures), complicated relationships with family members who expect things to be done a certain way, the pressure to get good grades and get into a top college, the feeling (at times) that nobody really gets you. But it also shows human resilience and perseverance through hardships, the discovery of self, loving relationships between family and friends, the beauty of a supportive group of friends (and family) who are with you all the way.
I hope that readers give this book a chance and that they love it as much or even more than I did.
To know
Biracial (Chinese/Caucasian, main character) written by a biracial author, Taiwanese American (side characters), Japanese American (side character), pansexual(?) (side character), nonbinary (mentioned character), violin (main character), orchestra (main character, side characters)
Trigger warnings
- From the book: View Spoiler »
- My additions: View Spoiler »
Reviews from other people who also loved this book (and have more coherent thoughts than mine)
Let’s Chat
Have you read When We Were Infinite? Or another book by the author?
What are your thoughts?
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